Of Piss, Politics, Porn and Cold Moscow Nights

In some of my profiles of South African politician Essop Pahad you may have noticed that he some spent time training in Moscow at the Institute of Social Sciences.

Also known as Lenin's International School, or Lenin's Institute of Higher Learning, this huge school in Leningradski Prospekt, trained thousands of foreign communists in Soviet techniques, strategy and ideology.

NZ's Socialist Unity Party sent many comrades to the school, usually on three month courses.

One former SUP member, who studied at the school in the mid '80s recounted to me this anecdote. I think it says a bit about communism, communists and human nature.

This man, who I will call Jake, was out on the piss one night with leading SUP man, the late Bill Andersen.


SUP President, the late George Jackson, second from left, Bill Andrsen, second from right

It is no state secret that Bill was a major drinker and he was certainly going hard out that freezing cold winters night. Somehow, Bill lost his shoes, no joke in sub zero temperatures. Jake had to figure out how to get his legless comrade back to the Institute before his stockinged feet succumbed to frostbite.

Jake dragged Bill to the underground Metro station and pulled his near comatose comrade onto a carriage.

Unfortunately it was against the law to ride on the Metro pissed. A four foot nine female conductor raced up to them blowing her whistle and waving at them to get off.

Jake pulled out his wallet and waved his SUP card in front of the frothing midget's nose.

"Jake ....... Kommunist, Nova Zelandie!"

The midget nearly swallowed her whistle. She immediately began fawning over the pair. She called a superior, who then ordered EVERY SINGLE passenger off the train, out into the freezing cold. Jake and Bill travelled back to the Institute, sole passengers on a very silent train.

Word of the incident got around the Institute and a few days later, Jake was summoned to meet the Director himself. Jake was very apprehensive.

He needn't have worried. The Director was most impressed by the story and wanted to meet the rule bending Kiwi comrade.

Several meetings took place in the Directors very well appointed apartment. Long conversations went on into the night.

According to Jake, the Director was very keen to learn how well the SUP's two main union leaders, Bill Andersen and Ken Douglas were accepted by the NZ public.

NZ affairs were very high up on the Soviet's agenda and the Director was very interested to know how well the Kremlin's two most senior Kiwi comrades were doing their jobs.

The two men discussed many issues, not at all limited to politics. While Jake believed the Director to be a communist to the core of his being, he did have other interests.

Jake had relatives in a Western European country. When agreeing to go to the Soviet Union to study, Jake had gained permission to leave Moscow for a few days to visit his family members.

Jake's family lived in a country well known for the quality of its pornography. The Director was very keen to get his hands on a little hard core porn, so he asked Jake if he would smuggle some back for him.

Jake agreed and duly delivered Gennady Yanayev several videos to keep the Director and presumably Mrs Yannayev warm on cold Moscow nights.


Is that name, Gennady Yanayev familiar to anyone?

If you look it up on Wikipedia you will find ..

Yanayev had worked with Komsomol since 1963. In 1968-1970, he held the post of Chairman of the Committee of the Soviet Youth Organizations. Between 1986 and 1990, Yanayev was a secretary, deputy chairman and chairman of the All-Union Central Soviet of Trade Unions

From July, 1990 - January, 1991, he was a member of the Politburo and secretary of the Central Committee of the CPSU. From December, 1990 - August 1991, Yanayev held the post of Vice President of the Soviet Union.

Note there is a big unaccounted for gap between 1970 and 1986. Well we now know what Comrade Yanayev was doing for at least part of that time. He was running the Soviet Union's premier school for promoting international communism and occasionally viewing the odd decadent Western porn vid.

Wikipedia goes on to say...

During the August Coup of 1991, Yanayev was a member of the State Emergency Committee and became acting President of the Soviet Union. He was later prosecuted and sentenced for his role in the August Coup attempt. However, Yanayev was eventually freed by the amnesty of the Russian State Duma in 1994.

That's where you've heard the name. Gennady Yanayev was President of the Soviet Union for a few short hours during the "hardliners" coup coup of 1991.

So because Bill Andersen couldn't hold his piss, one of our own Kiwi comrades got to supply hard core porn to the President of the mighty Union of Soviet Socialist Republics.

Ain't life weird sometimes?