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Wednesday, October 31, 2007

A Sad Story

Fairfacts Media posted this on No Minister. It cut me up.

Some weeks ago, I blogged about a very good friend who fell from my balcony.
He had got into an emotional state because he had not heard from his partner, a male, for quite some time as he attended a family event.

The partner was in the closet, so found it hard to leave his family, even just for a few minutes, to contact my mate, his beloved.

Now, we have been told the partner, a young guy in his late 20s, has died in a car accident.

But we haven't seen anything in any of the papers, nor anything online.
My mate is reluctant to contact the family as they do not know who he is. As he says , he is 'nothing' to the family. They do not know he even existed. How can he pay his respects at the funeral when his likely behaviour would expose the fact that the deceased had a boyfriend?

Indeed, unbeknown to them, my mate had an insurance policy on his partner, so is in a position to pay the funeral expenses. But he does not want to 'out' his late partner. My mate says he does not want the insurance money either as it won't bring his partner back.

But being unable to find out what is going on, pay his respects and play a full role in the process makes his torment all the worse.

We can have our laughs poking fun at lesbians wanting to open an 'old dykes' home, but we need to consider the implications of 'homophobic' comments like saying lesbian mayors are 'depraved'.

It forces people into the closet. So the late partner of my friend felt unable to contact my mate, leading him to get into such a state that he fell off my balcony. Now, it means my friend is unable to pay his respects and have a proper role in the burial of his beloved.

The pair just wanted to live together in their own place. Have their own unit or family. They do/did not want to undermine 'traditional' values, as gays are accused of on other blogs. They wanted such a lifestyle themselves. To be together and be happy. Had they been able to do so, the deceased might not have been driving last weekend.

So to the 'homophobes' out there. Think of the potential impact of the comments you make and how it affects people.


Anonymous isis said...

that is a sad story and it's difficult to say much to ameliorate that sadness, except perhaps to remember our common spiritual heritage and to try to include that spiritual presence into all our daily human sympathy to those involved.

2:27 AM  

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