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Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Celebrity Judge Loudon Delivers Verdict - Billions Wait in Awed Anticipation

I'm a "celebrity" judge (yeah, my wife thinks its hilarious too) for an email contest on the U.S. website IOWNTHEWORLD.com.



We all know about Journolist, Ezra Klein's 400 pale pink to irredescent red journos who got together on an email list to try to tilt the 2008 election Obama's way.

So what kind of emails will these professional disgraces be sending each other if their beloved Red Dems are wiped out in a TeaParty/Republican "bloodbath" in November?

Who can best duplicate the anguish that these clowns will be feeling as their "progressive" agenda takes a huge hit at the hands of U.S. voters?

That's the contest. Here's the prize -the hat. The HAT!


Of the nearly 200 entries received here's my choice for Numero Uno iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis

Post Racist with;
All,
If you chickenshits hadn’t wussed out over hiring someone to take care of Glenn Beck, this would never have happened. Ezra
Conratulations Post Racist, you have at least proven you have a brain worth keeping warm.

Honorable mentions include;
  • But…. we’re the elite.
  • I’ve had the car running in my closed garage for 4 hours and I wasn’t even getting drowsy…Hoo boy, was my face red when I realized I have an electric Prius.
  • I can’t believe the Republicans won. I never saw this coming.
  • “Man, we really need to press for gay marriage so we can start repopulating the electorate with progressives…..Oh wait.”
  • “I guess we aborted too many future progressive voters over the past 40 years.”
  • Chill out people, look at the bright side. We still have the schools……. progress not perfection.
  • Why oh why did we choose the one negro in the world who throws like a girl?
  • We maxed out our racist card
Dishonorable attempts to out Dem the Dems, with blatant (and much appreciated) bribery and corruption.
  • By the way Trevor, I live on an Island, I have two boats. Wanna go fishing? I have heard that bribing the judge of these contests is a completley acceptable practice. Google…strike that (because google sucks, and Bing has pretty pictures), Bing Emerald Isle North Carolina. A week her for a big fur hat, oh come on that’s an easy one.Oh, and we will keep it our secret. We have a steak house that has the best prime rib, ribeyes, fillets and more
  • Would New Zealand like to be the 58th star on our flag?All new immigrants get free everything and backrubs.You don’t have to leave your country, we will send you your monthly checks. Did I mention free dental?2 month paid vacation, only work 2 hrs a day, if you feel up to it.Every New Zealander gets to be president for a day.Yes, you also get your own talkshow.And a free gift basket, everyday.
  • I stayed at the Auckland Airport, and saw that beautiful country from the air, but sadly could not leave without that visa…Air New Zeland was much better than Qantis...just sayin’
  • Forget Menderman, I’m offering you something better for a bribe. I live in an area that has one of the largest number of micro-breweries, per capita, in the world. I know you Aussies like your brewskis and you can have your pick of the finest porters, scotch ales, craft lagers, etc. Plus the climate here is cold in winter and I could really use a warm hat.
  • Your Holyness? Hey, I am the KING of typos! Oh, And I have been to Australia, and would love to go back. My HERO brother married an Aussie! Brisbane is super cool, but I had the best of times in Noosa Heads….Emerald Isle is a lot like that, but with a FREE house for Trevor and his family, and I have freinds with really big houses!!!! I want to be pictured with Trevor holding a big bull dolphin (fish) wearing that hat! What kind of beer do you like Trevor?
These bribery attempts were excellent and correspondence may most certainly be entered into.

The last two, would have been sure winners had they not confused New Zealand with the offshore island of Australia.

Kiwis love our charming, if a little unsophisticated and simple minded Aussie cousins dearly. However we don't appreciate being confused with them, any more than "progressives" like being mistaken for patriots.

Just sayin'.

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

HAH! My favorite part of the entire contest was seeing our weasels trying to butter you up all "down under."

Thank you, immensely, for managing to be so classy at our flop house!

-bigfurhat

4:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WOW! GREAT CONTEST! GREAT JUDGE! Thank you,
Mr. Pinko

4:35 PM  
Blogger RueKat said...

Great judging Mr. Louden!

(Offshore island called Australia. Great one!)

Thanks for your time.

11:35 PM  
Anonymous Richard Kinkead said...

Thanks for culling out the bribery attempts and posting them. Well done.

Boobie the Rocket Dog

11:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Trevor, Thanks for being a fair and honest Judge! If you are ever near Emerald Isle, look me up! I get the feeling you will be judging another contest in the future...just saying'...

Congrats Post Racist!!

Menderman

12:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

trevor...
i have another reason to admire new zealand YOU!
one of the prettiest places on God's Earth

victoria

7:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know Trevor, in reality without you Glenn would have much less evidence to present as fact. But I figured that would get called out as sucking up. Truly you are a driving force behind this resistance, and we can not thank you enough for what you do. Sucking up or not, You sir, are an inspiration to all of us.
Thank You,
George Racist King

8:35 AM  

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